I fell in love with my best friend/ puppy and then told him and didn't get the same response.  He can be Hobbes to my Calvin, but doesn't want to be my partner. I'm heartbroken and scared and don't know yet that I can be just his friend. Today sucks.

Gorillas and icee pops..

I've got a lot of favorite things. My boyfriend, my stuffed puppy, my nephew, my new fiction book..I heart gorillas and icee pops too! I'm bad at blogging and just want to get something posted.

Bad thing number Six

Being so frakkin slow to get things done and to commit to the change that I need. GRR! Argh!

Bad Dickie!

I think I can, I think I can..

I may be at wits end with the slow progression of my life. I want to take that dive and not let fear rule my life. Therapy was interesting today..left me thinking of the Little Engine that could..

 

My lips are sealed

I sat in a meeting tonight not wanting to share, but knowing that it was probably a really good idea to. I didn't though.  I have been feeling disconnected from a lot of things and people lately. Not much is happening in my life and I feel like there's nothing positive to talk about. I open my mouth and lots of negative pours out. Anyway, I wanted to share about my inability to connect with people in the program and my not having a sponsor and my issues with unemployment. Instead I kept my lips sealed. This is my problem, yet I didn't have the courage to tackle it tonight. I also am tired of complaining. That could just be my excuse. Ugh. And then there's therapy tomorrow..

Some days suck!

but a friend can make it better..My friend from NY is in town for a few days and seeing him has lifted me a bit, as well as my therapy appointment the other day.  Also, my boyfriend took me to see a great Irish band at the Chicago Symphony Center that made me want to dance like this afterwards. It was really nice to get out of the house like that.  The job I mentioned did not work out. Totally blows! But I have produced two fairly awesome paintings this week. I'm proud of them. I'm working on a third that will be a challenge, because of the oops I just made.  I like challenges other than the job hunting kind.

Another Week

I believe my nephew's visit went well, with one slightly traumatic experience that I think I'll skip discussing. I'll just say it looked like a crazy person used the bathroom one morning. Poor kid. I do love the hell out of him. My 12 year old nephew is a major reason I changed my life and cleaned up a little over four years ago. He's special to me. I do feel bad about his current living situation and having to be raised by both my mother and sister. I hope he doesn't hate me for leaving for Chicago.

I woke up to a call this morning about a potential 3-6 month job doing payroll for little money. We'll see what happens.  At this point I'm kinda dying to get back to work. I need more in this life of mine..